I am here to tell you that there is no privacy if you live on the bottom condo on Insane Lane!!!!!!!! Let me now tell you some true stories. I use the word true because some of my readers think that I'm making this stuff up. I swear that all of this is true.
Barbara and her husband Tony NEVER go out to eat. He believes that dinner is a "nickels worth of pasta". They live next door to us and it always bothered them that we would frequent restaurants when we went out east. Well, what were we supposed to do in a vacation home? Start cooking? For that I could have stayed home. But, I didn't want to argue so I began not to tell her when we were going out and I would tell her that I was cooking. One night, she appeared at my kitchen window to tell me that she didn't smell anything cooking. I almost jumped out of my skin. The woman was almost 6 feet tall and yes, she could see in to the kitchen!!!
On Friday nights, my husband and I would observe the Sabbath. The great room functioned as both a living room and a dining room. We kept the windows open in late spring because there was a lovely breeze from the bay. Wouldn't you know it! There were both Barbara and Tony looking in our windows to see what we were eating. You might want to know how they could do this. The porch is common property and since our windows faced the porch, they could look right in. My solution? I didn't say a word. I just closed the blinds in their faces.
We had problems with the bathroom also. Tony walked by while my hubby was on the toilet and conducted an entire conversation until he smelled something funny. Then he realized what he was smelling and he never came back to our bathroom window again. However, that didn't stop Barbara from placing one of her ceramic statues in front of our bathroom window. The statue had curly brown hair. My daughter was on the toilet this time and got really angry that I was snooping on her. You can imagine how angry she was to discover that it wasn't me, but a statue. Her comment was,"What kind of an idiot does that?"
Meryl calls everyone "white trash". However, Meryl has a unique definition of that term.Being Meryl, the definition changes by the moment. One day, she became hysterical because my husbands shoes were wet and he placed them in front of our door. She told him that only "white trash" does that. She also threw my bathing suit on the floor because only "white trash" would leave a bathing suit on a chair to dry.
Why didn't we complain? We did. We complained to the President of the condo who said that Meryl was our cross to bear. Everyone had issues with her. Because of the proximity of her unit to ours we had more problems than most. Each year my husband says that we should sell the unit. But, we don't want to give up the life style.
One of the reasons that I am writing this blog is to make light of very crazy people. And Tony and Barbara? They have since moved away!!!!! And when they did and he asked me if I would miss him, my response was, "You have to be crazy!"
However, before we got to that point, there were many other stories.
My advice to anyone looking for a condo is to purchase the top level. No one will bother you then. However, beware of someone with a tall ladder.
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